Massive Mountaineering

This week I finally stopped putting off the challenge of conquering Mount Batukaru. The peak, which stands at a modest 2200 metres above sea level is the second highest in Bali. Each day that I have lived here it has loomed above me as if taunting me for further delaying my climb. With my departure for Europe rapidly approaching, I could take no more and succumbed to the necessity of the ascent, which exists simply because one can.

The reason that I hadn’t made the trek until now was not entirely down to tardiness. For starters, it is not often that I get a full day off from the various bits of work that I do up here. Secondly, we are still in the rainy season. This not only makes the climb rather unpleasant, but as I soon realised, it makes it quite dangerous too. Guests are not permitted to do the trek if it has rained in the two days prior to the planned date. I later found that this would have been the case on the day I climbed, but the decision was made to let me go anyway. I am obviously not as important as paying guests; Or visibly fitter. We’ll trust that it is the latter.

Mount Batukaru at 6:30am

So on Tuesday morning at seven in the morning, with a backpack full of rice and chicken I met my friend Kadek, who was to act as my guide for the day. Kadek is eighteen years old and works in the garden at Bali Eco Stay. Last year he trained to lead trips up the mountain for guests, but as I found out close to the summit, he has only climbed it three times including that training session. Despite the fact that Kadek was a little green, his enthusiasm and knowledge ensured that my trip was fantastic.

I was rather concerned to learn from Kadek that there would be nowhere to fill my water bottle on the mountain as we would be bypassing all of the rivers. This meant that the modest 650ml that I was carrying was to see me through a gruelling four hour climb and two hour descent. As I was not willing to resort to drinking my own urine just yet, I was on liquid rations for the day.

The departure point is at Jati Luih temple, where we were greeted by our welcoming party in the form of a monkey. He was extremely friendly indeed, approaching us without fear and wishing to share everything that we had brought along. He made a cavalier grab for my shoelaces at one point and spent a lot of time eyeing up my iPod. Eventually he got away with the offering that Kadek had made at the temple. The Balinese are extremely devout followers of their own brand of Hinduism, so throughout the ascent, Kadek was inclined to stop and make offerings to the various gods at their temples. I cannot begin to imagine the horrors that we were being protected from.

Monkey on the rob

From the first temple, we entered the rainforest with Kadek reeling off the names of all the animals that lived there but that we would not see. They included deer, snakes, eagles, hogs, monkeys and some kind of big cat. As it turned out, we did spy another monkey of a different species to our thief and I was extremely surprised to hear Kadek tell me that he’d never seen one before. I was to hear this a few times over the course of the hike in relation to various pieces of plant life, prompting me to ask him whether he’d ever been there before. It was as a result of this conversation that I learned that he was a relative novice.

Spiky jungle plants

The climb through the rainforest was tough. At 2200 metres, I will admit that I had not expected to have any trouble reaching the summit. However, it is not the height that makes Batukaru a challenge but the terrain. There is no path to speak of. Instead Kadek had to lead the way with a knife, cutting his way through dense rainforest while climbing relentlessly. On any mountain that I have climbed before, there have been well trodden paths that as well as rising towards the peak, weave their way across flat ridges and valleys, giving some respite for the thighs. On Batukaru this is not the case. It is a direct march up hill over whatever obstacle may be in the way, through tangles of roots, mud, rock and heavy ferns.

Tunnelling under the ferns

Whenever I encroach on a new community in foreign land, I do enjoy giving something back. So it was that I gave the leeches of the rainforest a good feeding. Somehow they managed to find their way to my feet, leaving my socks with a polka dot pattern that looked like Minnie mouse’s bow. Along with a few scratches and scrapes from vicious plants, these represented the only injuries I sustained on the climb.

I was pleased to be shown all of the sights on the way up, particularly the spot where a local gentleman had slipped and fallen to his death a year earlier. Most unnervingly, this was around ten minutes before we arrived at the ‘hard section’. This came as we emerged from the rainforest into a dense jungle of ferns that cover the top part of the mountain. In order to traverse them, you must cut through them, walk over them and crawl under them as you wind your way up to the peak. At times there are sheer drops around which one must skirt, all the while climbing further. One slip and a plummet down into the forest is the reward.

Kadek hacks a path with his knife

But four hours after departure, Kadek and I emerged victorious at the summit, where he went about his religious duties and I tucked hungrily into my packed lunch. Disappointingly, we spent the break shrouded in dense cloud and so the spectacular views that I had been promised were rather concealed. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the rewards of a good feed and the promise of a rather more rapid bound down the mountain, which we completed in about half the time. Gravity can be so very helpful at times.

Rooted

 

Fell in love with another man’s (monkey) girl….

Following the hardships of eating so lavishly at Christmas, it was felt that a little break was in order. With this in mind, Cath, Huey and I took a trip down to the beach at Melaya in western Bali. We were hosted by the Van’t Hoff family – owners of the Saranbuana Eco Lodge, which is a short, bumpy ride up the mountain from where I am living. Norm Van’t Hoff is currently developing a series of eco-villas on the beach there so we took up the offer to camp nearby and make use of the swimming pool and dining facilities.

Sunset at Melaya with Volcanoes in the distance

The beach at Melaya is about as untouched as I have seen. The black sand stretches for miles along the coast and there is barely a soul to be seen. What is more, the horizon is dominated by the formidable volcanic peaks of Java, making for a postcard perfect sunset. The sea fluctuates erratically between glass-like stillness and waves that while too small to surf, are large enough to give anyone sat on the front end of a small speedboat a seriously bruised backside. I have experience in this matter.

So thus ensued thirty fantastic hours of being dragged around behind a boat on a rubber ring, toasting marshmallows, sipping rum and beer (separately), swimming pool volleyball and nursing any injuries that were acquired along the way. I maintain to this point that the only reason why I was the only one to fall off the aforementioned inflatable doughnut is because I was the only one doing it right.

Smooch time

During our stay, I was fortunate enough to be introduced to the beautiful Lola. I say beautiful on the premise that she is facing whoever might be looking upon her whilst considering that particular description, because Lola is a monkey. She is a very cute monkey indeed. However, she is one of those monkeys with the rather unfortunate trait of having a big shiny bare backside that looks a little like the Elephant Man after a run in with a particularly irate swarm of bees. I’m assuming that everyone has seen the Lion King…. Think Rafiki after enduring a good hard paddling.

It felt rude to take a picture of her arse. There is a slight glimpse here.

Lola has to live in a cage at Melaya as she is a rescued monkey and wouldn’t survive if she were released into the wild. But in less than a month she is going to be relocated back up the mountain to live with a man called Simon. He came to Bali almost a year ago to tutor the Van’t Hoff’s 15 year old son Oska and liked it so much that he has decided to stay. So he is building a bamboo house on the mountain and is going to have Lola as a house mate. I have already suggested that he maybe teach her how to bring him beers from the fridge but he assures me that she will still be kept in a cage.

The Green Mile goes Monkey

"Can you feeeeeeeel.... The POW-ER"

But as with Buddha at Bali Eco Stay, I have fallen in love with Lola. She is just like a little person…. with a really red bum. I must have spent about half an hour sat at the edge of her cage while the poor beast searched in utter futility for some hair on my head amongst which there may be some tasty fleas. She found none, so she tried my beard and eyebrows. This is when I really began to notice the strong smell of urine on her hands. Eventually, she moved down to my legs and had a rummage through there instead, checking my shorts pocket for anything worth nicking.

Thieving git

I have always been a sucker for having my hair (it’s actually more like stubble these days) played with, so it is no surprise that I fell head over heels in love with the little piss-soaked princess. But alas, I can’t have her. She is Simon’s girl, just as Buddha is Cath’s. The search for the love of a good (animal) woman continues.

Lola plays the Engine-ear joke on me.